Have you noticed all the stores are having sales on cleaning and organizing items? All the totes, tubs and mops have been moved to the front of the aisle for a reason: We tend to think of Spring Cleaning when those tulips start popping through the grass. This year I want to challenge you to think about a spring clean – for your relationships.
That’s hard, I get it. To evaluate your relationships, who you associate with and who your support system is, requires some really tough conversations – starting with yourself!
Maybe there are relationships you’ve held on to that no longer fit. Much like how we grow and old clothes, or fashions no longer fit, it sometimes happens with people too. Some friends will grow alongside you, some will take a different path, and some unfortunately won’t grow at all.
It’s not just about the “fit” of your friends, but how well they serve you, your ambitions and your goals. I don’t mean what they can do for you, rather how are they lifting you up?
A college student I know just dealt with this type of “break up” recently. Mia noticed one of her friends, as they approached graduation and career planning, was showing herself to be less reliable, more selfish and downright mean. Soon, the friend was getting offended and angry when Mia couldn’t spend as much time with her because of testing and certifications and other career-oriented to-do items. The gap between the young women grew to the point where it was clear that her friend was no longer someone Mia could have in her life. It was painful and hard. Mia knew she needed to surround herself with positive, empowering and encouraging women as she headed into her new career.
Make no mistake, it’s hard to let someone go – even when they are toxic. Sometimes we stay for misplaced loyalty, sometimes out of fear. Being able to better prioritize your time with like-minded friends and support system is worth your mental health and development!
It’s all about the company you keep. Often toxic people bring with them unnecessary drama that can clutter your mind. Spring cleaning should usher in the good, and clear away the cobwebs. Responding to and dealing with drama from a relationship that’s run its course takes a toll on your own goals and dreams as well as your mental well-being.
Before you delve in, do you know your own core values? Or have you strayed so far from what you would allow and not allow in your life and relationships that it’s all gotten kind of fuzzy? When Mia knew it was time to sever that long-term friendship, she needed to figure out just what she expected of a friendship, where this one went off course, and more importantly, who she needed to surround herself with and what her standards were for the future. She had already seen what the “wrong” person in her life could do to her ambition, drive, well-being and confidence.
Perhaps just as important is doing a self gut-check. What’s your mindset? What are your boundaries? How can you, like Mia, determine who the people are that lift you up, and how can you get more of that goodness in your life?
This spring, time some time to do some cleaning with these steps:
- Define your core values.
- Determine your boundaries and standards for relationships.
- Know what you need! You can’t get what you want without knowing what you need.
- Realign your priorities, declutter your mind, and seek those who want what’s best for you.
- Be the kind of friend you want!