In the spirit of Halloween, let’s talk about something we all face but rarely discuss openly: our personal ghosts. The ones that impact our lives and our ability to sell ourselves and get what we want out of life. You know, those doubts, fears and old habits that haunt us and hold us back from reaching our full potential. Sometimes, those ghosts are buried deep, and they affect our ability for success and personal growth.  

In all my consulting and coaching, one of the biggest fears buried in many of us is the fear of rejection. So often, I hear it framed a different way, as a different challenge, but when it comes right down to it, it’s always about the big R.  

Hesitating to make that cold call or asking for what you want because you’re afraid of hearing “no”? It’s the ghost of previous rejections telling you that you aren’t good enough to pursue that new client or even present your best version of yourself. Remember, every “no” brings you closer to a “yes.” Reframe rejection as a learning opportunity and keep pushing forward.  

Speaking of the ghost of rejection… 

We have to talk about imposter syndrome. Mixed in there with the idea of rejection is the troublesome perception of being unqualified or incompetent. It’s the ghosts of self-doubt haunting you, the continuous fear of not living up to expectations. You are not unworthy of the recognition and accomplishments you have earned. One of my top blogs was about Imposter Syndrome. There’s a reason for that: Everyone feels it from time to time. You know what that means? You’re not alone!   

Here’s another one: Do you feel like you are waiting for permission to do what you want? Or pursue what you want? I call this the “permission mission.” Bottom line: You don’t need anyone’s permission to pursue your own success.  

I have a client who was “stuck” for too long in a job that didn’t align with her passion. She was hesitant to take a leap into a new field. Finally, she realized she didn’t need anyone’s permission to pursue her own dreams. She set herself on her own “permission mission” to explore new career options, acquire new skills, and actively pursue opportunities that aligned more with her interests. It wasn’t easy, and there were moments of doubt. Big moments! However, giving herself that permission empowered her to take control of her own career path and make the necessary changes to move forward.  

Spooky self-doubt 

If you find yourself waiting for some elusive permission to pursue your own success, it’s time to free yourself from these self-limiting beliefs. Here are some ways to do just that: 

  1. Evaluate your thoughts. Identify and challenge any methods of thinking that may be holding you back. Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations and remind yourself that you are capable of success. I have a friend who tapes empowering quotes and statements inside her bathroom mirror so she can read them each morning while brushing her teeth. 
  2. Practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself. Understand that setbacks and failures are part of the journey. Use them as learning opportunities rather than reasons to give up. I talk more about self-care here 
  3. Surround yourself with supportive people. Make sure the people in your circle are on your side. Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, mentors, and peers who believe in your abilities and encourage your growth. Their positive influence will reinforce your belief in yourself.  
  4. Believe in yourself. Above all, believe in yourself and your abilities. Pull those ghosts of self-doubt out of your closet and give yourself the permission to pursue your dreams wholeheartedly. Trust that you have the skills, resilience, and determination to succeed.  

Each ghost we conquer reveals new levels of success and fulfillment in our personal and professional lives. Don’t let anything hold you back from reaching your full potential! Now, go practice that superhero stance, and go get ‘em, Tiger!